Me and my ego

These days of waiting period are torturing days for me. I'm waiting for good news from "Kakak Cheung" (Gina Cemen knows who he is, hehehe...), and it feels soooooooooo bad!!! Although I'm supported by some important persons to whom I'm very thankful, but still, I think I need good fortune. It feels like you're expecting a baby, you know you'll love the baby and you believe he's the best for you, but don't know yet if he will be born alive or dead. That's how I feel now. And when this thought cross my mind, my heart beats a lot more faster than it's normal speed, and it makes me tired.
I think I was over-estimate before - may Allah forgive me -, and as things don't go as smoothly as I thought, I feel almost depressed.
Raja Minyak told me the other day that anything happen to you is Allah's best decision for you, although it makes you sad or upset and you fell sorry for yourself. Sometimes, the things you think good for you will cause you in trouble and you don't know that before. And actually I believe that, especially when I look back to my past, what I've been through, I love my present life more than my past.
But, the human ego in me can hardly understand that. Wise man said that your ego is your biggest enemy, and he's right. Ego is the most difficult thing to be tamed. Like what I'm feeling now, if I can get along with my ego, my misery is irreasonable.
But I'm not that good in managing my ego, I still want that good news from Kakak Cheung, and I pray a lot for that. I don't mean to win my ego, not at all, but this problem will be much easier if I can manage my ego.
I know I still need some good fortune to win Kakak Cheung's trust, but I keep my hope alive. May Allah speed my pray, amen...