Divorce

Divorce. I believe it sounds terrible. You'll never think of that the day you get married. But, it's an ironic reality that quite many of us deal with it.
What is the worst part of it? Is it about loosing someone you love? I don't think so, because when it happened, love wasn't there anymore.
I think the worst part is the feeling that you failed. Other people face the same problem and they can make it but you can't. You failed, case closed.
But one of my dearest friends told me not to think of it as the sign that you failed. He prefers seeing it from a different point of view. He said, marriage is like an examination. You can pass it, but it's not impossible either you failed to pass it. But the big difference is, in life there is no word "fail", what you have is "experience". You still have a chance to do the examination again, but this time you know what it's all about, because you can never imagine what is marriage like until you jump into it. And with the experience you got in the past, you won't do the same mistakes. You'll learn a lot from your experience.
The real commitment starts when there's a child in your marriage. When you decide to have a child, make sure that you receive your spouse as the father/mother of the child. Every child needs both father and mother, one of them is not enough, it will affect him psicologically on his future. Of course it is God who bring them to the world, but it's your responsibility to take care of them, through marriage you cause a child be born, he never ask to be born. You can't say "I can't get along with your mom/dad, I'm leaving, bye!" It will be very unfair for him.
So let's think of it this way, when you have a problem with your spouse, instead of being stubborn and defending your ego, please look at your child as your drive. Thinking of your child as your drive makes you more patience and emotionally calm you down. You'll realize for whom you live, you'll know where to go, and at the end, it will remind you of your responsibilities.
*Thanks so much to my dear friend P for sharing this opinion and precious advice with me.